denningwasfair

Have accepted that I hate working in the police station, have qualified, have started court work, haven't made any truly obvious fuck ups and have finished studying. Part-time job with Mowbrays and am now portfolio working with matching in mind. Bit of teaching, advocacy and whatever else presents. Guilty about it because Age is working so hard but so much happier than I was doing nine-to-five every day at the same place. Lots of stress but nothing too serious. Bitch to Age at the weekend, have so much stuff that I dredge up that isn't his fault but that he gets the brunt of, when will I stop being such a toddler. Want something to happen but not sure what, the adoption needs to be moving on before life stalls completely or explodes into metallic confetti. sleeping some of the time, but not all of the time.

The police are being really hard work at the moment. From intimidating a frightened girl with diagnosed depression to suggestion that criminal solicitors (or just me?) don't have any morality. Not sure why because can't relate except that I presume that they want to win and they're frustrated. They're not winning because the client's innocent - which they don't consider - or because they fucked up. My professional obligation is to tell them if it's a legal fuck up, how long before my obligation is run their case for them and teach them social skills? Need a holiday

Age is in a very small tent pitched at the bottom of what appears to be a very large iceberg and to be frank I worry. I am here at home hiding out, watching rom coms and eating chocolate. Back to work tomorrow what is the future for criminal law now that Tony Blair has given it some attention? Reading Scott Turrow who is brilliant played netball this morning and bent my middle finger back on the ball. It hurts but I'm being brave. This is Peter Doig:

Bought a table football game for the server room to try and settle the secretaries who are all about to kill each other. Have instead inspired a level of competitiveness only previously seen internationally between America and Iraq and Israel and Palestine. Think it may be the weather. All of the cells at Bath are full and have been all week. Haven't finished a single sentence since the weather got this hot have just got disinterested and wandered off. Said that to Peter the other day and he had the presence of mind to wander off before I was able to. Sensible man.

By eck it's been a long couple of years. I feel really priviledged and I know how rubbish that sounds but I do to have finished the course and to have met the people I've met and to have learnt all that I have. 76 on criminal and 72 on employment with only my phenomenal fuck up on civil litigation making me miss a merit. I feel grateful and sad and all of that stuff to have made it to the end. I also love my husband very much.